Forex Jokes : The rain rain rain came down down down...

The meteorologists predict that the situation will further deteriorate in the southern and southeastern parts of Germany. The Danube and Elba rose, and other rivers overflew their banks because of the incessant heavy rainfall. Bavaria has borne the brunt of the recent flooding. Several hundreds of its citizens were evacuated, the autobahns and railroad were drowned. The government has declared the state of emergency in ten towns, the residents of the small ones were transported to secure areas. The catastrophic large-scale surge of water has been recorded in Passau, which is surrounded by the Inn, Ilz, and Danube. The historical center was inundated, houses and basements were submerged, and the water level has reached 11 meters. The country's authorities have decided to involve the military to deal with the aftermath of the natural disaster. Angela Merkel has given the government directions to form  emergency services in order to help people suffering from the flood the most. The dwellers of potentially dangerous regions are asked to keep away from the rivers and take safety measures. The train traffic has been blocked, moreover, the railroad has been flooded, which has caused Deutch Bahn AG a modification of the train timetable and closure of most of risky destinations. The deluge made Prime Minister of Saxony Stanislaw Tillich cancel his visit to Turkey. The Germany's government is keeping the current state of affairs under the control. Thanks to the well-functioning system of notifications and operational work of the local municipalities heads, no victims have been reported yet.

Forex Jokes : Keeping secrets is out of fashion

The government of Switzerland will present a bill, which is aimed at improving the relationships with the Internal Revenue Service of the U.S.A. This measure will become a key point in the long-standing conflict over tax evasion by the U.S. citizens, who are holding accounts in the Swiss banks. Next week this law proposal will be brought before the Parliament and will enter into force approximately on July 1. The document will make the financial institutions to disclose information about their American clients to the U.S. authorities on condition that the interests of Switzerland are protected. In fact, that means that the banks will face multimillion fines for the assistance with tax avoidance. The total amount of fines may equal $7-$10 bln. The part of the amount will be paid by the country's government, and later the public money spent will be reimbursed by the banks. Currently, more than ten Swiss banks are involved in such law violation cases. The criminal investigation may be launched into thousands of Americans, who managed to hide their private incomes from the IRS by using offshore bank services. So, the Switzerland government is in a predicament now. On the one hand, the country sticks to the centuries-old tradition of non-disclosure. On the other hand, it has to react to the financial claims of the leading world power. The situation will clarify in the nearest future

Forex Jokes : Races

Soros and a Bernanke went to the races. Soros suggested to bet $10,000 on a horse. Bernanke was sceptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc. Soros whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince Bernanke.
Soros: You are too theoretical, he said and bet on a horse. Surely, that horse came first bringing him a lot of money. Triumphantly, he exclaimed: I told you, I knew the secret!
Bernanke: What is your secret?
Soros: It is rather easy. I have two kids, three and five year old. I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine.
Bernanke: But, three and five is eight,
Soros: I told you, you are too theoretical! Soros replied, “Haven't I just shown experimentally that my calculation is correct?!”